Dear Sir Paul McCartney and Sir Ringo Starr (you will always be a “Sir” in our eyes),
First, you guys are great. Sir Paul, we can’t believe that someone could do a project like Thrillington and still make time for hobbies like Wings. And Ringo, we’ve been hopeless fans since we saw you in Caveman.
So imagine our surprise when we noticed that one of your old friends, Yoko Ono, was going to be in Iceland on 9 October! She’s setting fire to a tower or something. And then we find out that you guys are both planning to be here at the same time? Talk about a coincidence! You guys could, like, form a band or something.
Then it hit us: You LIVE in England, and we FLY to London Stansted! Do you see?! How perfect!
So in the interest of reuniting old friends, we at Iceland Express are offering you each two round trip tickets to Iceland! Yeah that’s right, two free tickets. Each! Extra legroom and everything. All on us.
You’ve both been here before, and you know how much fun Iceland can be. Sir Paul, we hear you’re single - we can help! Sir Ringo, we don’t mind how you dress, no matter how much glitter your shirt leaves on our seats.
We can’t wait to see you! Hey, while you’re here, stop by the office and we’ll even buy you lunch.
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Listen, if these tickets are not picked up, I know a perfect use for them! You know where I’m going with this, don’t you?! After all this stuff, I’m drooling to get to Iceland! What do I have to do to obtain a ticket? Name it…
Sorry, Ringo used his tickets under the name “Royal Commander Fluffy-Pants,” and Sir Paul phoned to ask if he could transfer the value of his tickets to the duty-free store for use on Beefeater and a travel pillow.
We’ll come to you first next time.
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